::Originally posted on LJ::
I’ve come to the sad but true conclusion that any guy who has ever pursued me before has ended up hating me. It’s mostly to do with my Brutally Frank ™ method of getting rid of the unwanted attention being showered upon me. It’s kinda sad really. I do try to discourage them in a more kindly and understanding manner, but it just so happens that the guys who DO pursue me tend to be the type who have unwarranted confidence in themselves and do not know when to give up.
I’m not saying that I’m someone that guys cannot give up. Gee, that makes me soundd like I’m trying to paint myself as a Goddess right now. Far from it! I’m the kind of weird creature that only attracts bottom-of-the-barrel weirdoes. No kidding, even my friends ask me, “Geez Leech, why do you get all the weirdoes?” As if I should know! Do you think I’m weird? Bitchy yes, weird no, am I right or am I right?
An example of forced meanness would be as follow (true story, happened in yr 2 of college).
Weirdo #3 : So, I get a kinda good feeling when I’m around you, y’know? You get what I’m sayin’?
Me : Eh? Er, no, but er… thanks? *feigning ignorance, see if he dare to continue or not*
Weirdo #3: Mmm… basically I mean… well, you are single and I am single, and I kinda like you, so I’m asking you if you kinda like me. So how’s about it?
Me : Err… well, I like you as a friend. *trying to keep things civil*
Weirdo #3: So that means you like me lah!
Me : But only as a friend!
Weirdo #3 : But that means I have a chance?
Me : No.
Weirdo #3: But you like me!
Me : Look here, I wouldn’t like you ok? You’re weird and you’re shorter than me and you are so damn ah beng! I like you as a friend. A friend, get it, and you’re really getting on my nerves now. To be honest, I doubt that there’s any girl who would get “a good feeling” around you! I tried to be civil , but you pushed me to this! Bwahahahaha!
Weirdo #3 : Bitch. 
Right, so the last two lines, I made up, but you get the gist of what usually happens. Aside from my self-proclaimed “forced into being mean”, I guess I’m somewhat at fault too. I tend to drag asking the guys to buzz off rather than directly tell them that I’m not interested. Sometimes it’s because I myself am uncertain whether I am interested or not, so I ask them to give me time to think over it. This in turn, causes them to think that they have a chance, and to turn the chance to their favour, they triple their efforts into a scary level of stalking and harassing. Which turns me off and I’m forced to be mean again. At other times, I just don’t want to hurt the persons’ feelings, but as time grew, I decided not to give myself that much credit that I would have the guy crying over being rejected by me, and I should just reject as I feel free. Hahahaha!
So that’s my advice to any guy or girl dealing with a sticky admirer. Instead of trying to act like you’re so holy and pious and kind hearted by treating your admirer (who you are disgusted with) with respect and niceties, what you should really do is to severe all contact ASAP, and with as much Brutally Frank ™ comments as possible. Why pretend to be nice when you really hate the person and want them to get lost? Just to maintain your “admirable” image? Just get it over and done with! If you don’t like the guy, just tell him, “I don’t like you” instead of saying, “You’re a really sweet guy, but you see… I rather concentrate on my studies / work”. By saying the latter, you’re just going to lead him on and this will lead to him harassing you even more to ‘change your mind’. Believe me, a simple “I don’t like you” goes a long way. It may be ego bruising, but it’s fast and easy. Oh yeah.
Guys and girls in love won’t read into a single statement that far. They won’t be able to link a “You’re a sweet person” to a “I would like to keep you around for mental stimulation, but I will never let you stimulate me anywhere below my neck.” Do you get what I’m saying? I’m just really pissed at all these people who try to act sweet because they don’t want the girls to get hurt, but what really happens is that the person falls deeper and deeper into love with them. In some cases, I believe that’s what the “sweet” people are trying to do. To have someone hang onto them forever, and have them do as they bid for morsels of smiles and ‘chances’, when they really don’t stand a chance. Is kindness leading a person on for a few years, or is kindness telling them to buzz off and find someone better suited for them? You tell me.
An example would be MK. He wants to get rid of a sticky galpal, but what does he do? He promises to take her to the Jay Chou concert, and then he goes back on his promise. He tells me that by doing that, he will show the girl that he doesn’t make the effort in their friendship. What the hell? It takes more than that to make a lovesick girl give up! And making empty promises like that won’t make her understand. Or it’ll do is make her make excuses for you. “Oh, he must be busy with work”, “Oh, he’s a working man, I can’t disturb him, I’m still a little girl!” and so on. RUBBISH. IF YOU WANT TO BE A MAN, JUST TELL HER YOU AIN’T INTERESTED! I would prefer a guy do that and totally dash all my hopes than to keep me waiting for him, certain that one day he’ll see that we were meant to be. Or some shit like that.
donno, guess he’s choosy. quite gd looking thou
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