Well, He Never Asked For It… August 19, 2011

My ex-company is becoming very popular at the moment thanks to Khairy Jamaluddin. I think you can guess from my old posts which company that is! Anyway, there’s so much hoo-ha about the annual dinners every year that I’m truly surprised that Khairy has ONLY NOW heard about it. I think I’m such a good staff as I’ve never uploaded Youtube videos from the events though I had posted pictures before. I told my current manager maybe I should upload all the DVDs now and he said, “Ooi oi.. cannot wei. Controversial wei…” Hahahhaa.

To be honest : the man of the hour NEVER asked or demanded for his staff to do “all that”. It has always been his konco-konco around him that thought that this would please him. If you look at his face throughout the event, when he’s watching the performances, his face is just stoned only. In fact, if a staff performance managed to make him laugh or crack a smile — omg, the staff will be talking about it for days or years. As for the staff being FORCED to perform… well, the fact of it is there will always be staff who love to perform and those who don’t. However, a performance cannot be made out of only staff who love to perform as that is truly only a handful of them (the veterans). You still need tons of backup dancers, etc. Can you guarantee me that ALL of them freaking love the performance? If you can, then I will say you are a liar because I was a performer before and there were times when I totally dread going for practices, etc. Sometimes I had to travel to KL (from Bangi) to perform, and when I arrive there, the other participants are not on time, and it wastes time. The next day at work, I have to work longer hours to catch-up on all the “time off” taken to go for practices. And they can practice up to 2 months before hand!!

Anyway, the money is HIS to spend, and I guess if he truly hated it he could have brought it all to a stop. Anyone who feels butthurt at the “excessiveness” can either just join the company or they can try and host something similar, right? About those songs of “worship and praise” sung for him — as mentioned, it’s just some certain people who wrote those songs. He never asked the staff to sing it to him. I’m sure if he did, it’ll be very funny :

“You know what.. I feel very paiseh la.. you all call me the emperor of banking… banking king… shy la ” OR

“Stop calling me the banking king! I hate it!! I’m not!!” OR

“Why are you worshipping me like God? Do not idolise man… “

I really don’t know how he would bring it up. I suppose he has so many other things on his plate that he doesn’t really think about it. Anyway, maybe he really feels he’s a banking king? I’m sure he can definitely be a good challenge for the title at the very least. Or more likely, he really believes the staff enjoys singing/dancing so much, so who is he to take away their happiness? Like such a killjoy right?

P.S : After my last event in that company, I told my dad, “They were really worshipping him, dad. If they replaced his name with “Jesus Christ”, I would think we were doing Sunday worship in church. It’s that kua.” My dad: “A lot of his staff feel indebted to him mah. Anyway, you can see the Tan Sri, but you cannot see God.”

Dad so blasphemous… -___-”’

Surprise For Your Boyfriend June 10, 2011

“After Losing Her Man, Clerk May Now Lose Her Breasts”

This was in our newspapers on June 8th, and if you’re too lazy to click and read a news article, here’s the summary :

a. A woman went for breast enlargement surgery to surprise her boyfriend of 5 years, as he has frequently commented that he wished his girlfriend was slimmer, and with bigger breasts

b. The woman paid RM13,000 for breast enlargement surgery at a clinic “near a major shopping center in KL” to get her breasts enlarged. Instead of inserting silicone bags, the procedure involved taking fat from her waist and hips and injecting them into her breasts.

c. The 2 hour surgery was done without anesthetic as the doctor said he was not licensed to anesthetise her

d. After the surgery, she had severe skin infections, pus came out from where the fat was injected into her, parts of her boobs became swollen and turned black, it was severely itchy, etc

e. Her boyfriend dumped her because (a) he couldn’t believe she spent so much money on the surgery ; (b) her boobs are swollen and black, filled with pus and skin infections

When I first read the news, I don’t know whether to say “serves you right” for being vain (that is so cruel) or to be aghasted at the lengths that women would go to for their boyfriend. My dad said that some people are just not “educated” enough to know about how proper breast enlargement surgery is done (what more go thru it fully concious!), but that’s so hard to believe. I mean, at this day and age, you can’t even Google and find out what is good and proper? And I find it hard to believe that this was done through “word of mouth” (my dad’s theory) because who would recommend their friend to go thru a 2 hour surgery without anesthetic!?!

And RM13,000 is severely inflated. After all, Melissa Faith Yeo got hers done in Thailand for SGD$3,726,  she got stellar treatment  from her surgeon and the nurses AND her boob job looks great! Can’t believe that the clerk got hers done for about 50% more, and without anesthetic. Then again, she would probably tell herself that it was a liposuction + breast enlargement 2-in-1. *sigh*

Honestly, I really wonder how did her boyfriend treat her til she would try to resort to such a solution. Did he MERELY mention in passing about liking slimmer girls with big boobs (how direct can you get?) or did he constantly ridicule her? “Sigh, so fat already, but there still so flat.” I kinda feel bad, because your boyfriend is supposed to support & love you… not make ridiculous demands or set unrealistic standards for you. If you really wanted a girl who is thin and with C-cup boobs, then why get together with a fat A-cup girl?

My dad said, “That guy damn stupid! How the girl can become thinner and big boobs!”

Me : “Er… good genetics? He’s looking for an entirely different person already. Sure there can be gals who are thin and busty, but the clerk wouldn’t have been able to change without plastic surgery la.”

My dad : “The clerk should have told her boyfriend… why you want so big for? More work for you.”

** my mom stops playing Bejewelled, hides her face in her hands **

My dad : *laughing * “So big means you have to use your mouth more. Hahahaha!”

Me : “Another classic line from Mr Goh. Can  I put it on my blog?”

Work In Cambodia : Late Night Activity August 3, 2008

Raymond & Sifoo Wong are finally back in the office after their seemingly neverending overseas postings! Saw The Director (TD from now on) and he said that the next one to go again is myself and “the cycle begins again”. Oh, but it won’t be anytime soon… I intend to go back there as a programmer and not as a middleman between users and vendors. What can I say, I like getting my fingers deep ‘n’ dirty in code, muwahahhaa!

Anyway, I’m inspired by the tales of their recent exploits to write about my last trip to Cambodia, hehe. When I was there for 2 months, I only had to stay ’round the clock twice, which is considered really good considering the worse month-end disasters that the others encountered (not through any fault of mine!!!). One time was to do a major application housekeeping (imagine when the “ideal” storage should be 1 – 2 years worth of data and the company is storing 5-6 years worth…!) and the other time was to seal a password whose’s username is being used for connecting between applications and database. Minor kinks occurred, but it was kinda fun to solve them on the fly.

Pictures from the late night housekeeping activity:
Housekeeping is not such a straightforward task. You cannot just purge records from the database without affecting the reports, especially in the case of customer account statements. An entire new customer statement had to be designed with a new cutoff “brought forward” balance, and the script run to cut the database had to be correct in order to ensure no active transactions / deals are being deleted.

This would’ve been a whole lot of easier if this is an application that we ourselves designed. Since it’s not, it’s kinda like walking into a forest in the middle of the night armed with a pair of scissors to defend yourself. *bad analogy, but let’s ignore it*

After we cut the database (and since we are trimming so many years worth of data which runs into GB worth), the script itself takes a shitload of time. The fact that after EOD, we had to do 3 times worth of backup also took time. And after that we had to generate a SHITLOAD of reports for the users to check that after housekeeping, all is well. It sounds simple, but tedious, no? The problem is that we are given about 6 hours for the whole thing to wrap up, and there was just not enough time. When users are doing their checking, you have to be ready and on stand-by to answer any question if they said, “This doesn’t match”, or “There’s a difference between the before / after copy” or my least favorite, “I actually need report XXX as well. Can you regenerate for me?”

Believe me, this all takes time. The reports are all being printed on a slowass line printer (time to upgrade, people) and even running the reports to get the softcopy takes time. It’s just how the original reports were designed, of cos. There were a few hiccups here and there, at one point was rushing from one PC to another to transfer files, but it was all good. Anyway, it was quite fun also, in a way. You bond with people when all of you have been awake for > 24 hours. Hehehe.

After the initial backup & script running, the other two system support people dozed off, leaving me to deal with the reports and John for “ad hoc” requests. Hehhe. John is from the DB team, I’m from application support in case you haven’t figured out by now. Anyway, not being angry with the above 2, they really do help to support us a lot, just teasing. ;P

Sana checking her reports, Smey in a corner… donno doing what. Lol, another RakhSMEY was checking on GL and account statements… the fact that this SMEY can wander in to the office at about 3 – 4 am for no reason is kinda astounding.

Phiden from Trust Receipts diligent at report checking too.

Sana again… I LOVE THIS WOMAN OKAY!! She’s a wonder to work with – but I think it unfair if I only praise her and not all my other nice users as well. Hehhee. Anyway, she got promoted from Sr Officer to Asst Branch Manager already, so it just shows how capable this woman is. More about her in another entry.

Myself and John, almost crossing the finishing line ady. See how wonky my eyes are?
Why do I insist on posting haggard photos of myself to scar my own image?!

Me showing Tara & Mr Ho … something serious. Averting crisis!! Problem solving!!
See how cool & calm I look? 4 years of programming and application support to develop such a nonchalant demeanor hohoho!

Signoff to say “Yup, everything’s A-OK after the housekeeping activity!”

Pictures I took of myself before the entire activity started (during lulls, like waiting for the script to run while reports are being printed. There’s really nothing you can do in between, the other servers for testing are being used to recover the copy of the database BEFORE housekeeping, etc etc.

See them eyebags? Even BEFORE the activity started they were so hideous looking. Told you, going for overseas assignment ain’t no stroll in the park. Cos they pay you extra, they expect you to work extra too, naturally.

At the end of the day, this activity was extremely successful. I was just disappointed that the vendor didn’t show up for onsite support. Like hello, it’s YOUR application system and we had requested you to be on standby too. I shot off some rather sharply-worded emails to one of them, and he told me the next day that he was on standby… BY THE PHONE IN HIS HOTEL ROOM. So good, no? -___- And he said that if we wanted him to the bank, we should’ve send a 4WD to pick him up. Like, the rest of us WALKED there ok. DOT DOT DOT.

Pictures from the sealing SA password activity:
For the sealing of “SA” password, we didn’t have to stay back thatttt late. The main activity was ensuring that applications connecting to the database were still in order after changing the password. The reason Monica came along was because we had to call in the 1st half and 2nd half password holders to key in the password when we were doing the activity. Yup, IT division just love calling back people in the middle of the night, hehehe.

This implementation was not so smooth, but at least all kinks were ironed out by the end of the week, which is considered fa-fa-fa-bulous since once again, we are navigating a dense forest armed with pair of scissors to hack away at the undergrowth.

Mr Ho, this time alert and studying reports.

Both Randy & Sorivong on standby. Everyone who has met the both of them always asks the inevitable…. “So, who do you think is more handsome?” -___-

This time Mr Ho is more “seng mook” and provided food for our late night activity.
You can so tell that Monica just woke up and waltzed in to key her half of the password. Note hair!

The food is placed on top of recycled line A2 paper… lol. I forgot the name of this noodles, start with “Ba” something. It’s local hawker food, just kueh tiow fried in tomato sauce with TONNES of veggies and pork.

Close up on the generous portions.

Random closing picture of Phaerom, operator working the night shift.

Nothing new in my life… becoming too lazy to even step out of the house and go shopping. Think I’m old… too lazy to go anywhere. I’m rejoicing at the thought of more late night work at the office… contemplating staying at the office for about one week for this activity. Maybe it’s the petrol hike… trying to save costs on travelling to work. KIAMSIAP!!!

Btw, I freaking hate the fact that I can’t use credit card to pay for petrol at the pump anymore. Like HELLO?? That was my main reason for getting a cc in the first place. Bloody hell, only in Malaysia do they enjoy making life more difficult. If you complain, people say things like, “You should cut back on spending, the little bit more of walking never hurt anyone, you should blablabla” which always results in some sort of sacrifice on OUR OWN PART.

Because you know, everyone knows that you work hard to get more money in life in order to do things the DIFFICULT WAY and to give the money back to the _________. To improve things that never improve. Ok, beating a dead horse here, but I had to take the KTM the other day, and I was thinking, after THREE years of not taking KTM, MAYBE MAYBE things have improved, but of course they haven’t. I think the main problem with the KTM… (and herein I think is where I should be awarded with a Nobel Prize) is that people do not know where the train is going to stop. Think about it — for LRT, they marked where the train doors are going to open, so people can line up and there’s some semblance of order (even if you have to mark out with ropes and red lines on where & how to line up…

But yeah, the KTM has no such system. People randomly just CROWD at the station, and if you are unlucky enough (read : like me), then even though you are one of the earliest mofos there, you won’t be able to board the train when it comes. Honestly, do you carry NOTHING on the train? Not even a handbag? Not even a briefcase?? I have seen WITH MY OWN BEADY LITTLE EYES two attempted pickpockets (and in my own screwed up manner managed to “stop” them, hehee) and I really do not feel safe squashing in with the sea of people. I rather wait the, oh what’s that… oh FORTY MINUTES for the next train to arrive.

In conclusion, if they find a way for the KTM to stop at designated points so that the passengers can queue up properly to board the train, expect to see an instant 50% less complaints, fo shizzy. HAHAHHAA. Such an obvious solution, why no one talk about it before ar? Is it because it’s physically impossible for the train to do so?

These Are Interesting Times March 10, 2008

On Saturday, as promised to my parents and sister, I accompanied the family to the primary school behind our house to vote. It was quite a significant (although slightly anti-climax) moment for me as it’s my first time voting. I’ve already told my friends that I didn’t expect this election to have any great upsets, and if the person I voted for did not win, or lost by a large margin, I would not give up. I would still continue voting in the next election and so on because I just don’t want to be completely apathetic and lose hope in this country.

The whole family were shocked by the “political tsunami which left few survivors”. The state that I’m living in will be under DAP for the next 4 years. I’m glad that in the end, we all managed to deny BN the 2/3 majority – parliament sessions will be very “hot” from now onwards. Just hope that it’s not a case of “harapkan pagar, pagar makan padi”. Hope that the opposition does not fail us, does not become complacent and arrogant. After all, the Rakyat has proven that their votes *can* make a difference.

When the votes were being counted, I was at Kent & LiTeng’s wedding. It was a perfectly lovely affair, except that we, the guests, were perhaps a little too distracted by the election SMS updates. I am in awe of my colleagues who took leave to go back to their hometowns to vote, all of us had the, “aiyah, can I really make a difference? Aiyah, just try la” attitude which I found quite touching. Even though we are jaded and pessimistic, SOMETHING inside all of us still strove to fight back.

After the wedding, I caught the TV3 “political analysts” spewing their shit on TV. It was HORRIBLE. This one guy (no prizes for guessing what race he is) kept saying, “Ini menunjukkan bahawa kebanyakkan orang yang mengundi kerana isu-isu perkauman… orang Cina masih kaum yang paling kaya di Malaysia tetapi masih ingat mereka dipinggirkan. Dengan apa ‘second class citizen’… ” (said with bitchy attitude). (Translation : “this shows that there are people that vote due to racial issues… the chinese are still the richest in Malaysia, but they still think that they are being sidelined. What with all the ‘second class citizen’ statements ….” SOMETHING LIKE THAT LA. You don’t feel angry hearing that ah! At least the coverage on NTV7 was less biased. They appeared quite positive over the “loss of 2/3 majority”, saying that it is HEALTHY for a country to have many different voices and opinions keeping a good check & balance on each other.

Okay la, don’t know what else to say. Hope for the best!! If not, next time vote again lor! At the moment, let me just feel happy that I was part of “history”.