The Teacher March 23, 2005

::Originally posted on Completely Random::

Was thinking about what I would be doing if I wasn’t an analyst programmer. I would probably be an english teacher. I would teach english to secondary school pupils, and give tuition to primary school kids for side income. I like teaching, and I like kids. Yeah, that’s what I would do. One of the reasons why I don’t understand why my mom doesn’t like teaching (English some more! What I want to teach!). She comes home and complains about her students, and (chewah) I give her some advice on what to do, and it usually works. I know, I am totally cool.

Having said that, I have to say I’m a bit wary of teaching secondary school kids. They are not the innocent angels I imagine them to be. Yesterday my brother left his MSN on and one of his juniors (a 14 yr old kid) was talking to me. Wah, I tell you, just because I seemed friendly, that kid asked me if I had sex before. The funny part was that he said, “So did you have sex with a guy before?” What do you find strange about that question? That’s the english lesson for today.

Also, my friend asked me if I have bad temper. Actually, I’m very selamba, unless someone really, just becomes the straw that breaks the camel’s back. So to say. Even then, I prefer the whole “avoidance” thing, rather to get all up someone’s face and start wielding parangs. S’all good. The students will have Shakespearean cuss words hurled at them, not dusters & pieces of chalk.

Pervert Callers Make Me Sad January 10, 2005

::Originally posted on LJ::

I read this on malaysians and it made me really, really sad. If you don’t want to click on the link, I’ll just summarise it for you. Basically, this girl gets a call from a telemarketer pretending to be from Calvin Klein, and halfway through this “survey”, he starts asking her personal questions regarding her sex life / lingerie choice and all that. There are some people who commented that she was “not very wise” to give away her personal information, and asked why she didn’t hang up straight away and all that. I dunno what to say, since I have been in the same situation before, only it was a pretty different scenario.

I was 13, and I remember getting ready for school when the phone rings. Was in afternoon session, so I knew that the call would most likely be for me since my mom NEVER gets phonecalls. Yup, there was a woman on the line, who introduced herself politely to me, and told me that a friend of mine (thanks for fucking nothing you dumbfuck) gave her my phone number to partake in some government-related survey for high school kids. Er, ok all you people are sighing and going, “OH MY GOD AND SHE FELL FOR THAT?!”, but really, I was 13, and admittedly kinda dumb so I sat down and proceeded with the survey.

You see? It was a woman, you wouldn’t think that a woman would want to have phonesex with you. And at this point, I didn’t even know what phonesex is. Or masturbation, as I would soon find out. So you give your details out freely. Lord knows, am I to be crucified for not being suspicious of everything?

Haha, anyway it wasn’t anything dramatic, halfway through some normal question asking thingy, she asks whether I ever had sex before, whether I was still a virgin, whether I masturbate, and how I do it. Like I told you, I didn’t even know what the word “masturbate” meant, so I was like, “Er, no” and she said, “Oh I’ll teach you. Are you alone now? If not, go to a room upstairs. Your mom is in the kitchen? Yes, close the door and lock it.” I wasn’t that dumb, halfway through the sex questions I had a funny feeling that the government wouldn’t exactly be jobless enough to want such details. So I said, “OK” but basically didn’t budge from my seat in the living room. The woman then proceeded to coach me on how to masturbate. And she probably knew I wasn’t following her step-by-step, and she kept urging and persistently asking me whether I was getting aroused by touching myself AND talking to her on the phone. Hells no. I ended the call abruptly with a, “I’m late for school. Bye!” Before I hung up, she persisted, “Oh, then can you give me at least 2 other names and phone numbers of your friends so that I can continue my survey?” Bloody fucking hell, at least I was smart enough to say I had no friends. No way would I want someone to go through the crap I did.

Anyway, I was late for school. My mom fetched me, the bitch who gave my number to the pervert caller and my neighbour to school and we were stony silent. Once out of the car, my neighbour and I simultaneously erupted at the clueless sod for giving our phone number to the pervert lady. The clueless sod (those of you who know her will know what I mean) just said sweetly that she didn’t know that the woman was going to ask pervy questions, and that she didn’t have anyone else’s number to give. What the fucking hell? But anyways we forgave her, and the rest of the school day was spent joking about whether we got “aroused” by that phone call. Haha.

When I got home from school though, there was a different story. My neighbour told her mom about the pervy caller before she left for school, and I didn’t tell my mom. And for some reason, my neighbour’s mom got the idea that it was I who gave away her house phone number to the pervert, and not The Clueless Sod. Straight away when I got home, the neighbour’s mom stormed out of the house, threw me a nasty look and told my mom, “Did you know how stupid your daughter is? Just because some woman taught her on the phone how to masturbate, she thinks it’s a good idea for my daughter to learn the same thing as well!” <— said in cantonese. I was so appalled and indignant and my neighbour was going, "It's not her!!!~~~" and I burst out crying and my mom scolded me because at one point both those aunties thought that I was to be blamed. After they sorted things out, my neighbour's mom didn't apologise to me nor did she feel bad for making me cry, so that's why I hate her til today (her mom, not my neighbour). It was quite dramatic, being accused of being a pervert, and trying to influence people into my pervertism in front of the neighbourhood. Later, my mom also scolded me for not telling her that I got a call from a pervert lady. I was so fucking embarassed, and getting accused of being a pervert AND a stupid pervert at that just made me even more pissed. What was I to do?

AND YOU KNOW WHAT? THE PERVERT LADY CALLED ME AGAIN THE NEXT DAY. THIS TIME I SHOUTED SOMETHING LIKE , “DAMN YOU!” (didn’t learn how to say all the bad words yet) and slammed the phone down. Then I got scolded by my mom AGAIN because I didn’t hand the call over to my mom so that my mom could confront the pervert lady.

So that’s the story of my sad first encounter with a pervert caller. I’m wondering why a woman was on the line. Was she a paedophilic lesbian who got off on teaching 13 year olds how to masturbate? Or was she recording the conversations and has so far compiled a huge collection of 13 year olds moaning over the phone (if she’s lucky to catch the REALLY honest / trusting types who do what they are told) to be sold to dirty paedophilic men? I seriously have no idea. But yeah, at least I know my conversation is most likely not part of that collection. *phew*

BUT DAMN DO I HATE MY NEIGHBOUR’S MOM. I HATE ANYONE WHO BLAMES KIDS FOR NO REASON. OR BLAMES PEOPLE FOR NO REASON.

Supre Is Love November 24, 2004

:: Originally posted on Completely Random ::

Btw, a joke:
Why do people always say that Indian women are the horniest?
Answer: Because they always say ‘Vanakam’!

You So Don’t Know What Cosplay Is November 19, 2004

::Originally posted on LJ::

MK and I were talking about anime, he said he heard that I had a huge collection (lies, I only have Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, Full Metal Panic : Fumoffu, Chobits, Cowboy Bebop, Hikaru No Go, Rurouni Kenshin and random manga like Ichigo 100%), and wanted to lend some. Told me that he spent his holidays watching Slam Dunk!. Sat through a 10 hour marathon, and only managed to watch half of the entire series. “I even forgot to eat my dinner, you know,” he added piteously.

The funniest part was when I asked him if he knew what cosplay was (wanted to get his opinion on what I wanted to cosplay as), and he gave me a funny look and said, “Why?”
Me: “Cosplaying is fun! I want to cosplay!”
Him: “I thought cosplaying was some fetish thing where people dress up as anime characters… and then they have sex with each other.”
Me: *collapsed onto keyboard*

Sheesh, if that was his impression, no wonder he looked at me funny when I kept promoting cosplay. “It’s fun! Lots of people do it! I went to a convention where there were lots of people cosplaying! I really want to cosplay! Let’s cosplay together!” <— Note, I didn't say all of this. And come to think of it, MK a bit narrow minded, innit? He must’ve been watching too many Japanese schoolgirl fetish porn or something.