Spicy Sausage March 17, 2012

This is what is leading me to my downfall… the Dominos Pizza Spicy Sausage with New York crust. I forgive you if you have not heard about it… indeed, it was only thanks to Tron that I even learned about this flavor. Otherwise, I’m usually someone who would order a Hawaiian Chicken or whatever made me think I was getting the best deal (e.g: “Meat Mania”, “Extravaganza”, etc etc). The Spicy Sausage is humble – it seems like there’s only 4 toppings – sausage, pineapple, cheese and fresh chillis. But it is seriously the BEST thing on Dominos menu…

Ever since I got to know about Spicy Sausage a few months ago (maybe just early this year?), I keep craving for it. God help my waistline should I submit to the cravings! I can eat half a pizza by myself. And only half because Tron would be wolfing down the pizza just as fast as I can. =( And Dominos always gives LOTS of coupons with each pizza you order. Seeing the coupons just lying around my house makes me feel like it’s such a shame that I’m not using them. Like, why would you go out and eat at Old Town Kopitiam and tally up a bill of RM30 when for the same price, you can get TWO regular pizzas from Dominos? Plus, free delivery, no need to even spend $ on petrol driving to the nearest kopitiam!

In fact, Dominos coupons and I go wayyyyy back. Way back in the day when I was a fledgling 16 year old with (limited) allowance and time alone in the house. My parents both have to work, I was a latchkey child. My mom would cook a simple lunch before she left for work, and this was what I had to eat. Of course, being a working mother, sometimes the food was toooooo simple. Not to be unappreciative, but sometimes we need variety in life, right? My parents do NOT believe in fast food. It’s a luxury that they might indulge in maybe TWICE a year at most (at that point in time). One day, I was feeling super hungry and the food that day was too plain for me. There was a Dominos pizza voucher for a buy-one-free-one deal. For something like RM30, I could get TWO large pizzas. Well. I called them.

I don’t remember the finer details of that day, except that I knew my mom would be super duper PISSED OFF if she knew I didn’t eat the lunch she cooked, but spent hard-earned money on pizza. There was another time when my sister and I split a pizza, and she found out (because she found the disposable utensils / serviettes lying around the house) and we both got scolded like crazy. Believe me… when Hakka woman scold you, it’s really scold like “crazy”. Hahahhahaa. So I knew that this time when I ordered Dominos, I have to be SUPER careful and get rid of ALL the evidence.

The problem is — I was alone in the house that day. Like I said, I don’t remember the finer details, but I knew that my sister and brother were not around to help me eat the pizza.

Yes, you guessed it. I ate TWO LARGE Dominos pizza by myself! It was thin crust and the first pizza actually went down quite fast. The second one went down like a cruel and unusual self-inflicted punishment. All the while as I was stuffing myself, I kept thinking, “I have to eat it! I can’t even save one slice, or mom will know and I will be killed.”

If you’re wondering why I didn’t just THROW it away, ARE YOU MAD? And waste perfectly good food?!?!

And if you’re wondering why I didn’t just HIDE it, you don’t know my mom. She can scold you for things you did ages ago. There was one time when my sister did carefully wrap up unfinished pizza in aluminium foil. When she was reheating it, she got grilled like mad by my mom. Where did the pizza come from? How come suddenly got pizza? Pizza is very expensive you know! Why did you buy it? When? YOU BOUGHT IT ON A DAY THAT I COOKED FOOD FOR YOU AS WELL? OH YOU HAVE DAMN EXPENSIVE TASTES NOW, MY FOOD NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, HUH? MR GOH, DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR CHILDREN ARE DOING?!

I mean, spare me the rigmarole!

In conclusion, that was one pizza ordering incident that my mother never found out about. Not a crumb was left around, and I chucked out all the boxes, napkins, etc into a neighbour’s bin. (Put in a proper garbage bag, of course). However, it was also a long, longggg time before I ate pizza again.

Now, that same insane craving to eat TWO LARGE PIZZAS (Spicy Sausage please, and oh, could I have the cheesy double-decker crust for one of them?) is coming over me again. I’m wondering if I should just give in to it, stuff myself silly and then be turned off forever, or should I just “control” as what my boyfriend keeps telling me. I feel like doing the whole eat-it-all-get-rid-of-evidence thing, only this time I’m hiding from Tron and not my mom. But it’s kind of hard to hide your jutting stomach and love handles…

After The Love Is Gone… February 9, 2012

My boyfriend constantly alternates between telling me that I’m too muscular, and telling me that I’m a wimp compared to his manly manliness. One thing that he can’t deny though, is that my legs are more muscular than his. Although not as super toned as it was in my heyday (like talking about something 3 decades ago), I still have legs that take me through insane consecutive lunges and tuck jumps. One day, really pissed at how I was flexing my muscles, Tron suddenly said, “Shit, you’re really right. Your legs are more muscular than mine. How can that be? I wear skinny jeans and you can’t.”

My face started to look like this :

Then he had to add on, “Omg, we should change legs la! Your legs are like Pelé’s legs!”

In case you don’t know who Pelé is, or how his legs look like, take a gander :

I really don’t think I’m that muscular… from the side view, I really like how my legs look. From the front view… *sigh* No comment. To illustrate, this was a random doodle I was doing. To be honest, I wasn’t even really drawing “myself” in the picture, I was concentrating on drawing the pleats in my skirt because I was distracted (fine, I was at church. Don’t scold me, pastor!) and I was actually angry at something else, so to take my mind off it — I did something mindless. This is not a 100% reproduction, but it’s pretty near to what I was drawing :

Tron of course saw what I was drawing and he said, “Is that you?”. I just said, “yes” because it’s too bothersome to tell him, “Oh, no just randomly drawing a figure with no body and head, just a skirt and limbs that look like they belong to an octopus.” (Some more at church..!) So Tron grabbed my drawing and defaced it like so :

So I guess I’m sticking to jeans and long skirts from now on.

What Do Koreans Look Like Anyway? January 28, 2012

It always bemuses me when people are so excited when people say they look like anything but Malaysian Chinese. You tell a girl she looks Japanese and she squeals with excitement. The “in” thing now is to say they look Korean – again, happy faces all around. Why ar? Why so happy to be recognised as something you are not? The exotic-ism? But if EVERYONE started to look Japanese / Korean, how exotic can it be? Maybe I find it no big deal, because I never need to go “the extra mile” and people think I look Japanese. Some people bleach their hair, wear “big eye” contacts, fake lashes, etc, and then only people say they look Korean. I go out in my RM10 shirt, cheap slippers, specs, horrible hair and people still ask me if I’m Korean. Maybe those who go the extra mile look like the members of 2NE1, while I look like Kim Jong Il.

Hey, don’t discriminate.

And I think we shouldn’t aspire to look like another race… but to make people think that Malaysian Chinese are damn kau pretty. And one day, maybe people would think, “Hey, are you Malaysian Chinese?” is a compliment.

Meanwhile, here are photos I cleared out of my handphone :

Photo of me in red jacket being an usher @ church. I’m part of the “welcome ministry”. Do you think I look very welcoming?

The red jacket brings to mind company XYZ’s bank tellers… I feel like I’m working for them again!

Oh, you know. Just taking photos of myself while Tron drives me around.

Ah, a Gross Leech moment. There’s been people saying that there’s PLASTIC in Chatime Aiyu Jelly, and actually it’s just hardened jelly skin. I love aiyu jelly! Anyway, I was playing around with the jelly skin, and this is how it looks like. Very disturbing, I know.

I love taking pics of myself AFTER a workout to see how sweaty and tired I am.. This was after Simone’s Body Combat class…

After Su Lin’s crazy Body Jam class.

New shirt from H&M… this was taken at church. We had to go for some special course…

My Stepford’s Wives look… ;p

Casual Fridays… Can wear tee shirt to office, so syiok!

Me trying out the bling sunglasses that I won from Aldo. Check out how high the nose bridge is! Totally cannot pakai… hahaha!

Some funny Crocs game that they were playing. This was taken in Hong Kong. I like the miniature Crocs mascot so much! Wish I had the guts to sneak one home.

Nah, very Korean looking no? Some aunty asked me am I Korean when I look like this!!!

Glammed up a bit because was meeting Raymond for lunch. This was way back in December and I was flinging the rest of my leave left and right because they don’t allow us to carry forward

Trying to show you the ultra funky necklace that Tron’s mom gave me!! It’s HUGE and very “Oriental” feel about it.

Random pic taken in Vivocity.. Haven’t worn that green dress in ages!

Stopped by some highway rest stop on the way down to Singapore…

I just love my sheer, silver jacket… I pair it with almost anything. Even this long dress from Kitschen. But Tron hates the jacket… he says that when I first wore it, he thought it was smelly plastic. (Must specify that it is SMELLY some more)

Can see messy house in the background.

In Paddington House of Pancakes, Midvalley.

Nah, most Korean of them all. This is how “dresed up” I am when working from home.

How To Waste Time January 3, 2012

Being the types of humans that we are (those with an Internet connection), you hardly need to read a blogpost on how to waste time. You are probably experts at it already! Perhaps I should rename this to “how I have been wasting time”. My apologies in advance to my bf – he would be so pissed if he knew. He would say things  like my time would be better spent helping him to mop floors, which actually I did help him do so on the 31st of December. Yes, that is how I spent my New Year’s Eve.

Without further ado :

a. Watch Astro On Demand

My parents subscribed to Astro On Demand, which is a far cry from their days of being oh-so-reluctant to subscribe to Astro because they didn’t want my brother’s studies to be affected. Now, they have Astro b.yond, and they also have Astro On Demand. When I expressed my astonishment at how they have not only pissed on everything they had ever said about the evils of television, my dad said, “Well, the sales girl said it was only RM12 extra a month, so why not.” In case you don’t know what Astro On Demand is, this is my “layman” understanding of it. Basically, they allocate about 5 channels solely for ONE TVB drama series. I am actually not sure how many channels there are, so I just put it as 5, that sounds about right.

Throughout the day, the 5 channels will show 5 episodes from the drama series ON REPEAT, in chronological order. Once you have finished all the episodes in one channel, you flip to the next channel and continue. Obviously, they time it so that you can continue seamlessly.

Should you (for GOD knows what reason) decide to venture out of your comfortable house, you can return and just switch back to the channel where you last watched your last episode, and hopefully within X minutes, the continuing episode will be playing. Don’t worry if you have to miss an entire weekend of catching up – I believe they play the same drama series over a period of a month. Totally enough time for you to catch all 25 – 30 episodes that comprise of your average TVB series.

I was attracted to the glow of Astro On Demand when my parents started watching Curse of the Royal Harem. I wasted an entire weekend on this (I skipped a few episodes in order to get some sleep), and when I think back – why did I waste my time on this series? I totally learned nothing from it. Want to learn how to be more evil also, not really. Cos I think I can think of more evil things than the concubines did in this series. Lol! Not like it’s anything to boast about, but yea… quite disappointing. I think I was just attracted to the wardrobe, but even then, not really. Cos AS IF the royal concubine will only have 3-4 outfits on rotation only. Lol! Pathetic! Don’t you know that Kate Middleton had 30 outfits just for Christmas celebrations alone?

I nearly got caught in the web of Astro On Demand again recently when I caught an episode of When Heaven Burns… thankfully the storyline for that one is so darn dumb and even my mom, the TV addict, said that the storyline moves slower than a snail in molasses in January. Phew! Didn’t waste time after all!

b. Read someone’s entire blog archive (think : 5 years worth)

Not talking about myself because I have 10 years of blog archive to read. Zomg! I did try to read my own stuff, but I got bored halfway through, so I think potential stalkers can also be put off. Did I learn anything useful after reading 5 years worth of someone else’s memories? Honestly … no. I really wonder, can we fault someone for opinions or thoughts or bitchings that they penned so long ago? People change and if one keeps apologising for the past, we can’t live in the future. At the same time, I do think it’s irresponsible to keep blaming EVERYTHING on, “OMG, I was SO young then! Obviously I was a stupid, young girl. LOL! You digging up old shit for what?”. That is such a cop-out…

Blogs that I like to read :

- usually don’t have so much “events” updates cos I feel bored reading about all the alcohol-sponsored events which all the bloggers have the same old “experience” (no, not jealous. But maybe – yes, I’m not young and energetic)

- usually the blogger should be hot so that I can bash my own self-esteem some more. I especially like blogs written by models and when I mean models I mean REALLY models. Not those who are paid by the hour to pose in lingerie in hotel rooms kinda models. Or those who knows a friend who owns a high-end dSLR and maybe he asked them to pose for him once or twice before kinda modelling. I saw a description of someone who said she was a model and turned out to be something like what I just outlined and I was like … VOMIT BLOOD ok.. I felt so cheated…. ;___;

-used to like reading travel blogs but I don’t anymore because travelling doesn’t interest me as much anymore

- I like the cooking blogs but when the blogger is thin then I’m very skeptical

- obviously, like 99% of the population, I like blogs that don’t write much advertisements. But if they write it, I prefer if they don’t announce that it is an advert, so that I can be surprised. Hahaha!

- I don’t like reading food blogs, because I usually go online at night, and I skip dinners (most of the time). If I read food blogs, then I’m just trying to get myself gastric…

- I like reading blogs of people who are damn unfortunate. This is schadenfreude, and I feel really bad that I’m admitting to this.

- most of all, I like reading blogs of people who I actually know in real life…. it don’t matter if you don’t know me… *stalker mode on*

Anyway, yeah. Once I find a blogger that does fit into all my whims and fancies… wah.. I can spend whole weekends reading their old stuff. It doesn’t matter if the old stuff contains inane things like song lyrics and forwarded jokes. If you wrote a post about it, I would click it. And if you noticed that your blog traffic spiked madly over the weekend, that was me.

c. Online Shopping

A great time waster for me in my books, because this is how I shop online :

1. Buy everything in sight

2. Wait for it to arrive

3. Two months down the road – no packages arrive

4. FFFFUUUU and complain to the customer service

5. $ refunded.

6. Go back to step 1.

That happened to me for ASOS.com. What a waste of time and worry. Here’s another one :

1. Buy everything in sight

2. Look at the amount at the checkout counter and balk

3. Debate heavily over each item

4. Imagine self in the the article instead of a Victoria Secret model

5. Click “X” to remove item from cart.

6. End up with 2 items in cart that is not *really* what I wanted anyway

7. Debate over whether I really want to pay shipping for 2 items

8. Click “X” on browser.

Or here’s another classic one :

1. Buy everything in sight

2. Go downstairs to get water

3. FFFFUUUU when I find that the shopping cart is empty. Buy everything in sight again.

4. Got distracted by some other blog / Youtube video / Gchat

5. FFFFUUUU when I find that the shopping cart is empty. Buy everything in sight again.

6. Finally get to checkout!

7. Forgot login password.

8. Click on “Retrieve Login Password”

9. Never receive new password.

10. Tried to create new account.

11. “Email address is already in use. Please choose to retrieve login password.”

12. FFFFUUUU.

d. Get Caught Up in a Vortex of Nostalgia

You will end up stalking all the people you “used” to know… or like me — end up Youtube-ing all the songs from your childhood. It was really thanks to an outing with Fuzz & Dull at Chillout Bar. The deejay there had a propensity to play 90s music, and I was going, “OMG! This song was from half-my-age ago!!” And Fuzz and Dull were not happy.

Here’s one song that I kept re-playing again and again after that night…. *ashamed*

Actually, when I was younger, I was super scandalised by this video because they were all not wearing bras.

* * * * *

Super irritated at myself for getting so easily distracted. No more, no more. In 2012, I will avoid all these “potholes” that will stop me from doing what I *really* need to do.

By the way, having watched that video so many times, I know how to do that dance sequence in Wannabe already… zig a zig ahhhhhhhh.